i am back on US soil after nearly 2 months in India! lots of folks are asking me “how was it?”. i wish i had an easy answer. for those of you unlucky enough to be around me over the next few weeks the answers are bound to come out in a myraid of stories and i think the only way i will able to answer any questions about this culture and country will be through lengthy illustration. for those of you spared the ear-fulls, i will try to sum up as best i can.. i had an amazing, maddening, wonderful time and i will GREATLY miss the scores of fantastic people that i met who not only made this all possible, but those who showed me the true, gigantic heart of india.
before i go on, i am going to add preamble, or qualifying statement to all of this by saying my experiences were those of a very privileged person. i would absolutely love to believe that the good will and can-d0 freedom that i experienced is the true heart of India, but i’m sure there are myriads who’s experiences are quite different. i am white. i will never know what it’s like to be an Indian in India where racism, classicism and the caste system govern many facets of society, and i will never know what it’s like to be among the poor in Mumbai, where 60% of the city’s population is living in slums. i will say though, that the sense of community was one of the most incredible things that I experienced on this trip and what I feel like makes India truly India. i observed this love-for-thy-neighbor everywhere, whether it in my upper class neighborhood of Bandra or in the poor alleys of the slums. But in any case, I do want to make it clear that I have no way to look at india other than through the eyes that i have, but this is my best interpretation of my experiences and hope those that take any offense or find errors in these interpretations will read with understanding, and i welcome any comments and insight that you can provide.
i’d previously been told by a number of people that india is one of the most difficult and the most rewarding places you can visit. i can’t and won’t dispute this. the cultural differences are immense, and second maybe only to the japanese, they have a corner on downright confusing interactions for those of us trying to process everything through western eyes. it took a few weeks to manage my own expectations and try to sit back and take in the experience is at was. our rules and senses of space, time and appropriateness simply don’t apply, and i think it’s a key challenge to not define day-to-day interactions in india by our own cultural definitions or you will only find India to be the most rude and maddening place on earth. you need patience.. Hindi does have words for please and thank you, but they aren’t used. there are no street addresses and for still some unknown reason, people will not listen to directions. lines, whether designed to mark the median of a road or created for the organized purchase of movie tickets, are only a suggestion. and for all the freedom i experienced in what i wanted to do with each day, i could not for the life of me successfully order a chai with soy milk, despite the fact the restaurant has both tea and soy milk on the menu. but for all the miscommunications, failed attempts at ordering food i wanted, being shoved out of line while patiently waiting my turn for anything and everything, getting lost trying to get back to my own apartment because the rickshaw driver said he knew where it was when he really didn’t and generally spending 5 hours to take care of what would take 5 minutes here at home, there is a heart and sense of community, generosity and sincerity there that i have not experienced anywhere else. i found it nowhere more prevalent than in Mumbai, which is mind blowing when you consider that it’s nearly twice the size of New York. i got the idea that this sense of community is not only specially “indian”, but a downright necessity to survive in an overcrowded, crazy city with broken infrastructure, existing simultaneously in both the first and third worlds, succeeding really in neither.
there is a saying that “anything in India is possible” and it’s amazingly true. mumbai is a massive city still operating on a small town sense of community. if you need something – anything- you need just ask. if someone can’t or won’t do it out of the goodness of their heart just to make you happy, you only need to follow it up with the question “how much?”. in this way, mumbai seems to bypass many of the annoyances suffered in the big US cities, and this is visible on both the minute and large scale. like many places, traffic is an absolute nightmare. but if you need to, you can park in the middle of a traffic clogged street for five minutes to run into the store to buy something because there isn’t any parking. the cars, rickshaws, bikes, motorcycles, oxcarts, cows and pedestrians will adapt without any expression of anger or frustration. they probably know how hard it is to park and at some point will need to do the same thing. on a larger scale, you can also have access to anything and go just about anywhere you want. if you ask just one or two people, someone will know someone who can help you out. this goes for having your favorite food from anywhere delivered to your door to gaining access to various communities or key individuals throughout the city. in this, there is also an inherent sense of trust found no where else. i’ve experienced it not only through invitations to meet family, but also in spontaneous offers for a place to live, or loans for everything from camera equipment to a motorcycle – and often after the first meeting. i found that i had to be careful about what I say I needed, because someone would bend over backwards to come to my aid and ensure my happiness. it created this intense sense of responsibility to take care of not only the materials goods that were given to me, but also their trust. it would be so easy to abuse these privileges but everything is done with such honesty and sincerity, that you would have to be a rock (or truly evil person) not to be moved by it and not be overcome by the desire to return whatever favor you could for them in the future out of a mutual love and respect. i think this very thing is pure magic and it is what makes this massive metropolis one of the most fantastic places on earth.
so, what was I actually doing there? that’s a good question, too. i’m not entirely sure, but i made a promise to myself this last year to get out. get out of my head. get out of my comfortable surroundings. challenge myself. try to do something different, new and good. i’ve traveled to difficult places before, but i wanted to do it this time with a different focus and i wanted to carve out free time to some volunteering. with a few emails i was able to establish contact with a fabulous NGO in Mumbai that works with a number of other non profits around the city. i volunteered to take photos for them that they will use on websites and in printed materials to help raise funds and support support their work. every single person i met had a massive heart of gold, and i am so grateful for every soul i met. i will be talking more about them in the future as i get the photos processed and blogged. but first, a gazzilion thanks to to Akruti who initially made all of this possible by putting me in touch with her organization and also for holding my hand as i got off the plane and easing me into the crazy world that is Bombay.
so, that’s my summary. i was incredibly sad to leave and it will take me weeks to process what i’ve experienced and probably multiple visits before i even get a grip on anything. i gave up after two weeks trying “figure India out” and just experience it as only i can experience it for myself. all i do know, is that i almost cried packing my bags, which is something i’ve never previously felt like doing at the end of a trip, especially in a place that i had also many times called the most infuriating place on earth. i really didn’t wan to go. my cab, scheduled to arrive at 3:30 am called multiple (predictable) times for directions because he was lost. he still showed up a half an hour early. i tipped him 25 cents after he dropped me at the airport, and he jumped out to take my bags, grabbed a rolling cart for me and wasn’t satisfied until he had walked into the airport with me to make sure that I had gone to the correct gate. with a little head waggle and giant smile he gave a shy little wave and said goodbye. 28 hours later i arrived at IAD exhausted and sore. the shuttle was 45 minutes late, and delivered me to my house in 17 degree coldness, in a daze, carrying two heavy backpacks and a massive suitcase. i tipped the driver 5 bucks and told him i needed help to my door. he grabbed the money, grunted, jumped back in the car and then sped off.
india, you will be missed.
welcome back!!
by kim seidl
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